What does it REALLY mean when someone in a relationship says that they "Need To Find Themselves?"

Meet the invisible woman

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"What do we live for if it is not to make life more difficult for each other," but this is not, you shake your heads, what gentle Mr Eliot said.

And before you accuse me of gender stereotypes, let me just explain this jolly experiment of mine: the answers of my fellow 'macho' hubbers on the left contra just me on the right with many wise men on my side.

It is, after all, representation of our time. We can swap genders and sides any time. It is about partners as such, whichever gender they are ...

"We can not learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another, until we speak quietly enough so that our words cna be heard as well as our voices", another clever man said, president Nixon for you, here.

"It must be a peace without victory - only a peace between equals can last." said wise Mr Wison, president of USA from 1856 to 1924.

It applies for whole countries as well as for the partners in one country, one house, one room and one bed.

Experience love and life fully but don't let it to control you as an addiction does. For an addiction to be present, it needs to take over your life.

You have to hand over your power to it and allow it to make you feel dependent upon it for strength, self esteem and a sense of value.

Whether it is love or something else, we surely don't want to lose control over ourselves to that extent. Always hold on your own power and trust that everything you want will come to you without sacrificing your integrity.

Let love develop in its own time for like a fine wine, true feelings need nurturing and space. Give your partner as much space and time they need.

Life around us, as well as all individuals in it, come in myriads of shades, to love someone, doesn't mean to grow dependent on other for filling our own life with colours.

Let them go and let them be. Emotional hunger can never be fed by others. You are the one, that can bring the colour back into your life.

Once we realize we are always safe whether we are alone or in a couple, there would be no need to look to others for validation, there comes the time to open the door of our house and welcome our partner and a life companion on the equal ground.

Meet the invisible men

"So you've given up on me?"

She said,

amazed

at all this rare talk

from him.

"No,"

he murmured,

unconvinced,

"I need a beer,"

he quickly left.

"Why can't she get it?"

he entered the pub

and found his mate,

"When a guy sez,

he needs to find himself,

it REALLY means

that another girl

has caught his eye

and he wants to see

if he can get her in bed....."

(Meet the invisible man

number one,

and his answer

to this universal question,

how to take your leave

without facing 'the storm'

of consequence).

"So tell her the truth,"

his mate's girlfriend

joined in

handing them

a beer each.

"It's NOT really a lie,

of course,

since he REALLY

"needs to find (himself)"

in her's or his bed........."

(Meet the invisible man

number one,

again.)

"You are just a jerk,"

the girlfriend waved her hand

and moved closer to her boyfriend,

who quickly backed his mate:

"It is better than to say,

he needs more space,

like another bed

with a girl in it,

imagine that?"

They both laughed,

while she punched her boyfriend

angrilly in his rib:

"I will tell her everything,

what you said,

don't worry about that,

and then you done, mate,

no girl and no bed

a hundred mile around here."

"Just calm down, honey,

what is said here,

stays here,"

Her boyfriend said

and ordered another beer.

A barman

filling their glasses again,

looked her in the eye,

with a little sad smile:

"They are full of silly little cliches

like I need some space,

or I need a little more time.

They think that phrases

like that are

'deep' and 'meaningful,

but you know them better,

than that."

(Meet the invisible man,

number two,

his answer,

just like the answer before,

you find

for your reference

in the question

section,

thank you

my fellow hubbers,

for letting me

to use it,

here for you.)

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The closer we look, the more alive we become

The dramatic Western Australian landscape, a big backyard to play in...

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The sharp points of spinifex covered in a fine coating of the red dust, in swags on the ground, looking at the cooling ocean line...

beauty is around me, beauty is inside me, I am so full of joy, I cry...

My Aboriginal friend takes my hand: "We are all part of the one web - humans, animals, trees, rivers, stones - all vibrating at different frequencies...

if we damage one single hread of the web, the entire web is affected, this beauty here is not here to stay if we don't try to protect it."

I wiped my tears of joy nodding my head: "Life is demanding we take charge or our own circumstances to create and protect the life we want."

A D Hope suggests in his poem Australia, that perhaps our barrenness and remoteness means we can grow something special here.

Australians have much to learn about the sacred when it draws closer to the terror and fear, on which their civilisation was built and based.

Like the puzzles and strugles of the journey, the sacred offers and takes away.

A challenge to our survival in this dry timeless land is our never-ending fight with its constant floods and fires...

and yet a promise of a better and more worthwhile life is always with us.

People have all of the resources they need inside themselves to bring positive change in their lives ...

... but many people are not in touch with natural world, for them it is nothing less or nothing more just the playground to use and play in while they can.

The nature around us

breathes with life,

a piece of rock

seems dead

and passive

to our naked eye,

magnify it,

it becomes full of

intrinsically restless

molecules

atoms

and subatomic particles

vibrating

in high or slow

motions.

Everywhere you look,

the closer you look,

outside in

and inside out

you feel

life force vibration.

Science is magnificent

by giving us those

magnifying glasses

to view life

from a higher perspective,

by conducting

experiment

after experiment

to join in

all the missing links

on our empty map of universe,

and yet

the greatest obstacle in science

is illusion of knowledge,

by trying so hard

to answer all those open ended questions

we are missing the most important ellement:

"The question of existence and non-existence."

We all dream to live in harmony

with ourselves

with others

with the natural world

that spread all around us,

we want

so desperately

to find

the lost connections

that are still in place,

the relationship

between these

vibrational influences

and engergies

is forever,

without us knowing,

inextricably linked.

Physical energy

of things

we can see and touch,

is never lost,

just changes its form,

to the metaphysical.

Space and time

are paradigms of the mind.

Human thoughts,

all experiences

and events

in natural cycle of life

are eternally regenerating,

nature around us,

and in us,

is ever changing

and still the same.

Let this stirring vision

of a new natural world

inspire you

to walk out your dream

and create the seemingly

impossible.

Take a few moments to observe

the natural world around you,

inside out

and outside in,

the closer you look,

more you dip in

to the depths of these emotions

withing which

qualities

of protection

preservation

and righteousness

are being forged.

And whatever it is,

whichever

has the strongest reaction

let that be your cause.

So many of great

before us and now

view life from a higher perspective

not from a point of view

of personal gain,

for Steve Irwin

and Jane Goodall

it was

preservation of animal species

and their environments.

Their visions came from

their understanding

of the interconnected nature

of all natural beings

-the interrelated structure of reality.

A D Hope: Australia

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